April 4, 2014

女人的產痛

自己雖然不是媽媽,但對於其他女人的產痛,都很敏感。
幾位好朋友進產房時,我們還在whatsapp! (開到幾多度... 差不多了... 嘩你!!! Push!!!)
簡直是你催生、我滴汗! 肉緊得自己都有點腳軟...
當然啦,每個月之痛已經是產痛的深入淺嚐。
所以,女人的耐痛能力,從來比大男人更堅!
但此文並不是想說臨盆經驗初探。其實,每一個人,都會經歷若干的「產痛」。

在蘊釀之時、等待之時... 在計劃開展與達成之間的力挽、堅持...
為了實現所謂「夢想」,每一次的咬緊牙關! (混著血和汗)
在每一步、每一步... 人有幾多次堅定地向著前...  的死活、拚殺!
吸、呼.. 吸... 呼呼呼.... 的似有還無、氣弱柔絲而不斷!
... ... 都是分娩的一個過程吧。

所以,當親手拿著:一本書、一部小說、一份合同、一畢人工、一個獎杯、一齣電影...
我們大可以微微笑說:Baby,終於見到你!!!
恭喜。

還有一種,我稱為「後產痛」的苦楚,對,通常是比較女人的「專利」。
把嬰兒懷抱手中,多久都不疲累。
要日夜餵多少次奶水、怎樣曖怎樣呵... 都不覺煩悶。
小兒的第一句「媽媽」、第一個轉身、扒地、學行、跑走...

然後,你看見曾經在妳母胎中九個月,血肉相連、默默連心... 的「我兒!」
忽爾間懂得行、識得走... 他要上學、才幾天,就驕傲叻仔地頭都不回大踏步...
我相信,這是所有為人母的,第二度產痛。

「我慢慢地、慢慢地了解到,所謂父女母子一場,只不過意味著,你和他的緣分就是今生今世不斷地在目送他的背影漸行漸遠。你站立在小路的這一端,看著他逐漸消失在小路轉彎的地方,而且,他用背影默默告訴你:不必追。」 (《目送》龍應台)

這也不是只有骨肉相連的關係一場。
老師看著一群學生愈走愈遠、成長、離開...
師傅看著小小的徒弟已經有板有眼、青出於藍...
你見送那位深愛(過) 的人,在走他該走的路,而你深知,那個未知的未來,沒有你的位置...

女人最大的挑戰,不在於堅持到每一個天明破曉。
而是,在某個時機成熟,你眼白白看他與她... 走。
還請不要不知趣的趕上去,塞件褸、送件餅乾水瓶,當人家小學生旅行那樣。
最好不要。

女人
眼淚,最好往心裡流。
沉默,勝千言萬語。未講的,其實又不一定有必要講。

痛,但不是白白的痛。
每一種「產痛」,都是一個生命的開始。
莊嚴而美麗的一個勝利姿勢,又稱為:讓路。

Message from Medjugorje, Jan 2 2015

"Dear children, I am here among you as a mother who desires to help you to come to know the truth. While I lived your life on earth I had knowledge of the truth, and by this alone, a piece of Heaven on earth. That is why I desire the same for you, my children. The Heavenly Father desires pure hearts filled with the knowledge of the truth. He desires for you to love all those whom you meet, because I also love my Son in all of you. This is the beginning of coming to know the truth. Many false truths are being offered to you. You will overcome them with a heart cleansed by fasting, prayer, penance and the Gospel. This is the only truth and it is the truth which my Son left you. You do not need to examine it much. What is asked of you, as I also have done, is to love and to give. My children, if you love, your heart will be a home for my Son and me, and the words of my Son will be the guiding light in your life. My children, I will make use of you, apostles of love, to help all of my children to come to know the truth. My children, I have always prayed for the Church of my Son, and so I also ask the same of you. Pray that your shepherds may come to shine forth with the love of my Son. Thank you."